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    OpinionsWhy new demonetisation deposit rule makes perfect sense?

    Why new demonetisation deposit rule makes perfect sense?


    Why new demonetisation deposit rule makes perfect sense?


    Today, our overlords came out with yet another change to the rules to demonetisation. Among other things, the latest change (for now) has the effect that the deposit of an amount over Rs 5,000 can only be done once per account, and the deposit of such an amount will be credited to your account only after the following harassment procedure:


    “The credit in such cases shall be afforded only after questioning tenderer, on record, in the presence of at least two officials of the bank, as to why this could not be deposited earlier and receiving a satisfactory explanation. The explanation should be kept on record to facilitate an audit trail at a later stage.”


    What could be the possible reasons behind this latest brainwave? What was the unexpected development that forced the government to come up with this move?


    There are rumours that the government does not want the entire demonetised currency to make its way back to the system (which is what will most likely happen) and is therefore trying to discourage people from depositing money.


    If this is true, this new rule is the latest in a series of the average joe having to suffer because the government embarked on an adventure thoroughly and totally unprepared. Why could the government not anticipate that people will find ways to convert all black money into white? Two words come to mind – incompetence and cluelessness.


    The goalposts of demonetisation have also shifted constantly. Yesterday, on television, a spokesperson of the BJP was on television arguing that even if all the money comes back, it will be a good thing because the “tax base will widen”. Isn't curbing black money, cashless society, widening the tax base a goal anymore?


    Also, now that the source of income will have to be explained at the bank itself, why not shut down the income tax authorities and shift the manpower to banks? Heaven knows that the already overburdened banks could use all the help they can get. Anyway, I am creating a list of reasons which I think should be more than a “satisfactory explanation” to the question “why this could not be deposited earlier”.


    1) Because the Prime Minister of the country, described by one central minister as god's gift and another central minister as being god himself, said I could deposit this money till 30/12/2016. I believed him.


    2) Because the Reserve Bank of the BJP (a serious institution till not so long ago) also said I could deposit this till 30/12/2016 without question.


    3) Because people are dying in queues and inside banks. I hope this doesn't need more explaining. I forgot dying is a pro- act and I didn't want to die and so decided to wait till queues stabilise.


    4) Because the situation is so bad that security/police is being forced to fire guns in the air to control crowds, people are being lathi-charged.


    5) Because I thought it is my duty to wait as long as I can so that people who really need to access already overburdened banks can do so.


    6) Because I didn't realise that “trial and error and error and more errors” are this government's approach to governance.


    7) Because I didn't realise that in the movie The Devil's Advocate Al Pacino was trying to give us hints about the folks who decided that demonetisation is a good idea and are now trying to run it. (In hindsight I wonder if even Uma Bharati is also a big fan of this movie and tries to give us hints when she calls people god.) Anyway for the sake of this discussion let's refer to the guy responsible for the demonetisation fiasco as “Naresh” and with that in mind, here is the decoded Al Pacino speech. The original bit is in italics. “God (Naresh? Well, I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God Naresh.


    God Naresh likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it.


    He gives man instincts let's us earn money. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does He do?


    I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel, he sets the rules in opposition.


    It's the goof of all time.


    Look, but don't touch. Earn, but don't use.


    Touch, but don't taste. Use, but only if you deposit.


    Taste, don't swallow. Deposit, but you can't withdraw.


    Oops, change in plans, can't even deposit!




    And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is He doing?


    He's laughing his sick, fucking ass off.


    He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist.


    He's an absentee landlord.


    Worship that?




    If you want to stay updated about what you can do with your money, check the news every three minutes. Achhe din aa chuke hain.

    The Northlines is an independent source on the Web for news, facts and figures relating to Jammu, Kashmir and Ladakh and its neighbourhood.

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