Comparison is the thief of joy and creativity
Author: Vishali Dhawan
Edited by: Tufail Farooq
”You can be anything but you can't be everything.”
In life, we are often guilty of unfairly comparing ourselves to others but comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness.
The grass may seem greener when we're looking with envious eyes at the things we think are lacking in us. But the truth is, you are uniquely you and that is perfect!
When we compare ourselves to others, we're often comparing their best traits against our average ones. It's like being right-handed
and trying to play an instrument with your left hand.
When we compare ourselves to what others have, or simply how they are, we are essentially making ourselves feel downright inadequate and inferior – with low self-esteem to match.
Once we begin down that road, we'll never find an end.
I know this might feel a little weird at first – but when you become aware of all the great things you have going for yourself, you will feel instantly uplifted.
Our minds are fixated on objectifying everything we perceive when life as a whole is subjective. From wealth, fame and prosperity to love, happiness, spirituality and life itself, our brain is wired to objectify every aspect of reality, as if your mind is playing a secret game of hammerhead portraying every object you personally identify with.
The moment you hear wealth, the shiny jewellery, cars, housing with a portrait of the wealthiest man on the planet pops up in your brain. But wealth is not a magic number derived from the bank balances of the richest around you, but a number established through deep self-reflection of one's personal needs and desires. You aren't poor just because you enjoy minimalism.
You hear the word spirituality and you begin to picture the soothing composure of bald-headed monk beckoning you to just let go. But Spirituality never demands the surrender of everyday existence to become a hermit but is being mindful while living our mundane lives to be able to cherish the present moment amid all the chaos.
Just like how your mind presents a billboard of brand logos upon hearing the word fashion, it also relives a romantic honeymoon Instagram post from an ‘influencer-traveller' couple when you wish to objectify the subjective nature of love. You find no exits at your disposal from stopping yourself from comparing what true love must look like.
This comparison inspiration might not be such a bad thing but it is a complete misuse of brain space and almost an abuse of delicate relationships.
Fame isn't the number of likes, retweets, followers or so-called social media friends, but that feeling when your best friends and family eagerly await your arrival 2 hours in advance at the airport gate and home.
Love isn't posting heavily filtered photos online in pursuit of showcasing the perfect of everything, but it is laughing through every imperfection regardless of what the world thinks.
The key to stopping comparing your life is to stop the objectification of areas of life which are unique and personal to every individual. We are all on a unique journey, no matter how many similarities we may encounter through this journey of life.
“Comparison with yourself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent.”
There is one thing that you're better at than other people: being you. This is the only game you can really win.
Happiness is above and beyond the objectification of every parameter that defines it. It is completely personal and unique to your journey and has no room for comparison if you decide to disallow the practice of unwarranted objectification.
When you stop comparing people and focus internally, you start being better at what really matters: being you. It's simple but not easy.
The most important things in life are measured internally. Thinking about what matters to you is hard. Playing to someone else's scoreboard is easy, that's why a lot of people do it. Because winning the wrong game is meaningless and absurd.
Stop trying to be Superman!
Allow yourself to make mistakes and serve your team. I spent so many of my days thinking, lost in self-blaming. The other thing is, it's a double-edged sword because I live to work, I love it, all my life, no matter what happened, I wanted to capitalize on it, turn it into something to move me forward, make my career better.
Life becomes about being a better version
of yourself. And when that happens you become happier, free from the shackles of false comparisons and focused on the present moment.
You get one life, play your own game!
My observation was only to draw awareness to how we often objectify the most extreme aspects of life.
The author is a lawyer from Poonch.
